Three little words

My dad caught wind of the miserable situation we're in and called me yesterday.  I'm not sure why I didn't just call him a long time ago and tell him myself.  I don't know.  My dad and I have an....interesting relationship.  I love him dearly, and I know he loves me, too.  We're just...distant with each other.  It's complicated.

ANYway, he called me yesterday and left me a message.  It was something like, "Hi Diane. Heard about the hard time you're having lately.  I'm trying to get ahold of you.  Give me a call please.....*pause*....I love you."

Gasp! 

I love you.

Sadly, I don't hear that from my dad very often.  If fact, I don't remember the last time.  (Admittedly, I don't tell him nearly enough either.)  But he said it to me!  Even if it was just on my voice mail.  My heart leapt when I heard those words.  I love you!

So today, I've played that message to myself several times.  Just so I could hear that last part.  That 'I love you' from my dad.  It's funny, isn't it?  I'm 39 years old.  But still, I just want approval and love from my dad.  I don't think that ever goes away.

It also makes me realize that I need to mend some fences.  I need to make things right with my dad and I.  I've been carrying around some.....I don't even know what they are.  Some issues.  And I know it's time to figure out what those are and put them to rest. 

Anyway.

Today I did call my dad back.  And talked to him for a while about what he's been doing, and also about the craphole my life is in.  And then at the end?  I said, "Thank you so much for calling.  I love you, Dad."

And he said, "I know.  And I love you, too."