Lab Coats and Gold Medals

So today in chapel, we announced Science Fair winners. But we couldn't just blandly stand up there and call off names. Oh no. We (two teachers and I) dressed up in lab coats and Einstein wigs to do the honors. Ha! (I'm the dork in the middle.) As soon as we walked into chapel, the kids just started howling. The computer teacher (the guy on the right) announced the winners in this voice he said was supposed to be like a crazy German Scientist, but mostly sounded like Grover from Sesame Street. :) The kids loved it!

And yes, Cole was right. He took home the gold. I had a 'you can't win 'em all' speech all prepared, but I guess I'll have to save it for another day. Although I am thinking I need to come up with a 'virtues of humility' speech. Because he's strutting around with his gold medal thinking he's pretty cool. Lexi also took home a gold medal!! And Gage got a silver. So all in all, a very successful Science Fair.

Later after chapel, I was working at my desk (sans the costume) and I heard a little girl walk by and tell her friend, "That nice lady at the desk went a little crazy today."

Ha! Yes, I did. And it felt pretty darn good.

IQ Lacking

People that know me know that I work at a school. A Christian school. I'm the secretary. For the most part, I really enjoy interacting with the parents of our students. It's a lot of fun most of the time. Every once in a while, though, I'll have a conversation with a parent and I'm left wondering.... where the heck these people were when God passed out brain cells. This happened today.

*Warning - this paragraph is kind of gross. You've been warned. Ok, so there's a little kindergarten boy who, for the last 3 days, has pooped his pants. And I don't mean a simple pooping of the pants. Without getting too graphic let's just say that it's messy. Really really leaky and watery and messy. You get the idea, I'm sure. So the teacher (of course) sends the kid to me. Neato. Since we aren't supposed to handle this sort of body fluid (thank you, GOD) I call the parents, and make them come and get the kid. So today was day 3 of this. So again, I called the Mom:

Me: "Yeah, your kid pooped his pants again. Please come and get him." (Ok, no, don't worry - I didn't say like that. I was nicer.)
Her: "Oh no, really? Wow. I just can't figure out what's going on with him"
Me: "Well, maybe he's sick. You should take him to the doctor."
Her: "Yes, we did! We took him to the doctor and they ran a bunch of tests. So far, everything is normal."
Me: "Hmmmm...I wonder if he's having a reaction to something he is eating."
Her: "Well, that's what I was thinking. It makes me wonder about the prunes."
Me: "The prunes?"
Her: "Yes. Every morning when he wakes up lately, he just takes handfuls of prunes and eats them. I've been racking my brain and that is the only thing that has changed with his diet. I wonder if that's it."
Me: "......"

Wow. Really? Is it not common knowledge that when one eats copious amounts of prunes, one gets a dreadful case of the trots? I mean seriously. I'm pretty sure I've known this since ummmm...BIRTH. Am I wrong? So lady, NEXT time, give ME the $25 copay and forget the doctor visit. Because yeah, you can stop racking your brain. IT'S THE PRUNES. Duh.

In other news, I'm thinking about doing the Breast Cancer 3-day Walk.

60 miles, though. Sixty. I'm not worried about raising the $2200. I'm worried about being able to walk 20 miles a day for three days. Eeek. Whatya think?

Science Geeks Unite!

Ok, let me say this: I LOVE the Science Fair. With all my HEART, I love science fair day. I experience sheer joy when I look at an entire gym full of projects. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's that proud look that even the youngest of students have when they stand in front of their projects. Projects that they've worked sooo hard on. Or maybe it's the spark in the kids' eyes when they get to explain their project to the judges. I love that even the children that get dogged at school - the ones that get in trouble all the time - even for one day, get to feel proud and accomplished and excited on Science Fair Day.

So, to the boy who has gotten 34509349058 tardies so far this year? I will happily write out your tardy slip tomorrow morning because I can't wait to tell you that your balloon project with vinegar and soda was amazing!

And the little girl who can vomit on demand? The one that exhibited her talent all over the library floor last week for me to clean up? I forgive you. Because your glass xylophone project rocked! (But ummm...no more puking, K? Not on my watch.)

The best part? Tomorrow is Day TWO of our Science Fair. That's right. Two days of out-and-out delight for this science geek.

7 Things

Wow, another post. I don't think I'll be an every-day blogger, I'm thinking I'm just excited about my new blog right now! :)

Ok, so a while back, RLG posted her list of 7 things people might not know about her. Her list was so cool! So I thought - what better way for me to start my blog than to list MY 7 things! Heidi - you've already heard these, but for my other blog readers (all 2 of you) I'll list my things for your reading enjoyment.

Okie dokie. Here are 7 things you may not know about me:

1. I used to think you died on your birthday. To make it nice and 'clean.' You know - She was EXACTLY 76 when she died. Or whatever. My husband still gives me a hard time about this. Last month, on our anniversary, we were coming back from our dinner date, and he said, "Well, if we die on the way home at least people can say we were married exactly 17 years when we died." Yeah, he's a riot.
2. I once hired a hitman to snuff out my Grandma's dog, Odie. Now before you get your panties all in a bunch, you need to realize that my Grandma's dog was pure evil. It was this horrible wire-haired fox terrier rat dog. Now, I love animals in general, but this thing - I'm pretty sure it was Satan himself. Everyone in my family hated this dog. As soon as you walked into my grandparent's house it would start bounding up and down barking this horrible ear-piercing high pitched noise. BARK BARK BARK BARK constantly. You couldn't talk, or do anything really with this dog around. My brother had to wear a cup around this dog because it bounced as it barked and zeroed right in on that part of the anatomy. (Well, he didn't really wear a cup, but he threatened to.) Anyway, this guy at the lab where I worked agreed to rub out the dog for me. But, sadly, he chickened out, and the dog died of natural causes a few long years later.
3. I forgot to wear a shirt in first grade. Seriously. That bad dream you have where you show up at a public place naked? I lived it. My family owned a restaurant back then, so my mom was up and out of the house super early. So us kids were responsible for getting ourselves up and down to the bus stop ourselves. Well, this day when I got to school, I unzipped my snowsuit (we lived in Alaska) and looked down and noticed nothing on from the waist up. Nada. Zip. It was horrifying. I had to go and get a shirt from the lost-and-found. I remember it was orange. And it smelled.
4. I have a tendency to count things. Like when I drive on the freeway? I count the seams in the pavement in my head. When I'm in a public restroom, I count the tiles. I don't even realize I do it. Yeah, it's weird. I noticed that my youngest son does it too. My doctor assures me that no, we don't have OCD. But still, sorta weird.
5. When I was like 15 or so, I was baptized. In front of our entire church in a bathtub. Like a full immersion. It was NOT a good experience. I was wearing a cream colored outfit which quickly became see-through. Actually, it prolly wasn't as see-through as I thought, but when you're 15, any amount of see-throughness is pretty traumatic. Also, one of my contacts floated away. :( But before all that, when I was standing up there and the Pastor was asking me questions about my faith, etc., he wanted to know when I became 'born again.' I didn't have a magical date when that happened like my mom did (she was baptized right before me. Which was pretty cool I guess.) But still, overall? Not good.
6. When I used to work in the lab in the VA hospital, I got to watch and sometimes assist with autopsies. (In hospitals they always put the lab downstairs near the morgue.) I loved it! I think I missed my calling. My favorite show on TV is Dr. G. She has like my dream job! I would LOVE to be her! (Well, except that I never went to medical school. Besides THAT minor detail, I would love to be her.)
7. Growing up, my mom was obsessed with the Book of Revelation. I think it was pretty much the only book of the Bible she read. She used to tell us all about the 'end times' and the rapture, and all that. This terrified me as a young kid. :( I was always SURE I would be raptured away before I had a chance to go to college, get married, have kids, or whatever. Even to this day, when I reach a milestone that I've been looking forward to, I feel so relieved. Now I realize that my mom was depressed most of her life :( (still is) and she was looking forward to leaving this earth any way she could. I grew up feeling guilty about loving life. :(

So there ya have it! Now you know just how weird I am. :) Here's what I'm supposed to do now:

• List 7 random things about yourself that people may not know. (check)
• Link the person who sent this to you, and leave a comment on their blog so that their readers can visit yours. (check)
• Post the rules on your blog.
• Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, linking their blog. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Ok, well, I don't have hardly any online friends. (Hey! That can be my #8!) So how 'bout Mary? Maybe you feel like listing your 7 things?

It's All About the Win

So, I spent almost the entire day helping the kids with their Science Fair projects. There's a certain amount of pressure, because I am in charge of our school's Science Fair. So yeah, we can't have sucky projects.

So that being said, it's even more important that the kids do their own projects. I have to resist the urge to "help" them too much. (Why? Because I wrote the judging form. And a big part of the judging is that the kids did their own projects. It's painfully obvious when the moms and dads did the project but slapped the kid's name on it and called it good.)

Ok, so yesterday morning I told all three kids that they needed to come up with a Bible verse corresponding to their project. (Did I mention this was a Christian School? Yeah, so each project must have a Biblical application relating to it.) So later that morning, to my amazement, the kids had not only followed directions, BUT they had each found a pretty good Biblical application to their projects! My oldest did a project on bees and how they protect their queen and how during the wintertime their job is to keep her warm and fed. So his verse was about honoring your father and mother, just like the bees honor their queen (Exodus 20:12.) Wow! Good one. My daughter's project is on hair color and how that relates to it's strength. So she had a whole thing written out about Samson and his hair, but how really our strength comes from God. (We're on a roll now! My heart was swelling!!) Ok, so my youngest, my 7-year old, is doing a project on bird nests. So he came up with those verses in Matthew 7 about building your house on a solid foundation, and how just like the bird builds a strong house, we should build our lives on rock (Jesus) not sand.

OH yeah. I was patting myself on the back. Slappin' myself high fives...I mean seriously! I was tearing up listening to my children. I thought, Wow. I'm sure we've done many things wrong with these kids, but we must have done SOMETHING right! What awesome kids these are!! I don't want to brag or anything, but woo hoo! My kids are awesome! (Ok, I did call a friend or two AND my sister to brag.) But I had to! I was in parenthood nirvana.

Briefly.

Cole (my 7-year-old): Mom, isn't my project cool?
Me: Yes, VERY cool. You did a fantastic job!
Cole: Yeah, I think I'm gonna win the Science Fair.
Me: Well, remember, Cole, it's not about winning. It's
about doing your best and learning something about science!
Cole: No, I think it's about winning.
Me: But didn't you have fun? Wasn't it great this weekend working on these projects together? We learned so much about bird nests and God's wonderful creation. That's what it's all about.
Cole: (looking truly shocked) No, for me it's all about the win.
Me: You may not realize it now Cole, but some day you'll look back on this and remember how fun this weekend was and how much you
learned.
Cole: (staring at me like I'm an alien) I guess so. Whenever I'm polishing my gold medal, I guess I'll remember this weekend.

Yeah. My work is not done here.

First Post!

I did it! I have a blog. I've been threatening to do this for a long time... And here I am - my first post! Eeek. What do I say in my very first post? Oh the pressure.
Hmmm...I don't really like this layout. I need something more farmish maybe huh?
Now the question is...who do I tell about my blog?