I STILL have goose bumps

I had a total God moment today. At the grocery store. And I know I'll never be the same.

Cole and I were standing in the check-out line. I was in a terrible mood. My back was killing me. I injured it a couple of days ago hauling feed sacks, and it was throbbing. I was mentally going over each item in my grocery cart trying to discern if we really needed it. (Since my husband lost his job, this is what I do. Do we NEED that? Can we do without the expensive salad dressing? Peanut butter? We can do without that, can't we? Can we manage without those crackers? How 'bout the coffee? UM HELLO? No. WE NEED THE COFFEE.) Anyhoo, I'm doing this with each item in the cart, and I'm ticked that I have to do this in the first place.

Then I hear the most beautiful humming behind me. Actually, it was half humming half singing. (I couldn't place the song then, but I later figured out it was "On My Knees" by Nicole C. Mullen. Ironically - my new favorite singer!) So I turned around to see a girl in her mid-twenties or so. She was going through a wad of food stamps, only pausing to stroke her son's hair who's sitting in her cart. Her son looked to be about 5. And he had Down's Syndrome. The woman was smiling and humming and stroking her son's head. And smiling and thumbing through food stamps. I smiled, too, and turned back around to look at Cole.

And Cole, wise beyond his years at the age of 8 says to me, simply, "Mom? You need to buy her groceries."

There were 2 things that struck me right then as he said that. #1: To my knowledge, Cole does not have a clue what food stamps are. He's never seen them. He had no reason to believe that this woman and her son were struggling worse than we were... financially and in other ways maybe too. And #2? I had the very same thought right at the moment Cole said those words.

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I needed to buy her groceries. I did. It hit me as soon as I saw her and her sweet son. God wanted me to buy her groceries. He wanted me to do it now, and there was no question.

This doesn't happen to me very often. When I come to a crossroads, and there is more than one path to travel, I don't usually know - I mean really KNOW - which way is God's will. I pray and pray, but rarely is there a clear answer. I realize that many times there is more than one right way. And I know that most times I figure out later that the path I choose was indeed God's will. But it's not usually a crystal clear thing for me. You know?

But today, there was absolutely zero room for interpretation. I knew. My job was to buy this woman's groceries. And so I did. Even though I didn't know where the money was coming from. Even though there is nothing coming in. Even though I pinch pennies at every turn to provide for my own family. Even though all of that - I still did.

The funny part was afterwards, as she was thanking me profusely, it was like, she also knew I was supposed to buy her groceries. It was as if we both knew, and she was just so thankful that I listened.

As we were walking out of the store, I had the most incredible feeling. It was like we were part of a much bigger plan. God used me! - little insignificant ME to carry out something He needed done. I felt honored and proud! And it was overwhelming and incredible and wonderful.

And then Cole said to me, "Mom? When God needs us to do something, we're just supposed to drop our other plans and listen. Right? Today we listened."

Yep. That's right. Exactly right. Today we listened. And, I'll never be the same.

I can be in a crowd,
or by myself.
and almost anywhere,
when I feel, there's a need
to talk with God, he is Emmanuel,
when I close my eyes,
no darkness there
there's only light.

I get on my knees
I get on my knees
there I am before the Love that changes me
see I don't know how, but there's power
in the blue sky
in the midnight
when I’m on my knees
I get on my knees
I get on my knees
and there I am before the Love that changes me
See I don't know how, but there's power
when I’m on my ooh,
when I’m on my,
When I'm on my knees.

~ Nicole C. Mullen's "On My Knees"