People that know me know that I work at a school. A Christian school. I'm the secretary. For the most part, I really enjoy interacting with the parents of our students. It's a lot of fun most of the time. Every once in a while, though, I'll have a conversation with a parent and I'm left wondering.... where the heck these people were when God passed out brain cells. This happened today.
*Warning - this paragraph is kind of gross. You've been warned. Ok, so there's a little kindergarten boy who, for the last 3 days, has pooped his pants. And I don't mean a simple pooping of the pants. Without getting too graphic let's just say that it's messy. Really really leaky and watery and messy. You get the idea, I'm sure. So the teacher (of course) sends the kid to me. Neato. Since we aren't supposed to handle this sort of body fluid (thank you, GOD) I call the parents, and make them come and get the kid. So today was day 3 of this. So again, I called the Mom:
Me: "Yeah, your kid pooped his pants again. Please come and get him." (Ok, no, don't worry - I didn't say like that. I was nicer.)
Her: "Oh no, really? Wow. I just can't figure out what's going on with him"
Me: "Well, maybe he's sick. You should take him to the doctor."
Her: "Yes, we did! We took him to the doctor and they ran a bunch of tests. So far, everything is normal."
Me: "Hmmmm...I wonder if he's having a reaction to something he is eating."
Her: "Well, that's what I was thinking. It makes me wonder about the prunes."
Me: "The prunes?"
Her: "Yes. Every morning when he wakes up lately, he just takes handfuls of prunes and eats them. I've been racking my brain and that is the only thing that has changed with his diet. I wonder if that's it."
Me: "......"
Wow. Really? Is it not common knowledge that when one eats copious amounts of prunes, one gets a dreadful case of the trots? I mean seriously. I'm pretty sure I've known this since ummmm...BIRTH. Am I wrong? So lady, NEXT time, give ME the $25 copay and forget the doctor visit. Because yeah, you can stop racking your brain. IT'S THE PRUNES. Duh.
In other news, I'm thinking about doing the Breast Cancer 3-day Walk.
60 miles, though. Sixty. I'm not worried about raising the $2200. I'm worried about being able to walk 20 miles a day for three days. Eeek. Whatya think?
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3 comments:
HA HA HA! Diane, your writing is brilliant. So funny. She really didn't know? Hmmmmm. I've known that about prunes since birth too. Could it be she never ate a prune? No, she purchased them. Right? Ok....moving on.
20 miles a day for 3 days? Yeah. You can do it. You're young! Get some really good shoes and start walking!
Love Ya!
Mary
OK, at first she said "your posts are full of wit" and I thought she said "You're a twit"
So, I'll say..."you're a twit!"
HA HA!
You can definitely do it! The Breast Cancer 3-Day offers lots of tools to help you train and fundraise. And even if you don’t think this is your year to participate as a walker, consider crewing or volunteering. You can speak with a Breast Cancer 3-Day coach at 1-800-996-3DAY to get a lot more information. Best of luck!
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