A Wonderful Side Effect from My Life Being in the CRAPPER

You know what I've noticed?  I feel more loved now than ever before.  Seriously.  Yeah, there are so many things in my life that are WRONG.  BUT, my friends and family have surrounded me with such a warm loving security blanket, and let me tell you - it's incredible!

My sister has always been there for me.  Always and forever.  She is such a ROCK!  But since my life has spiraled down, she has checked in on me EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Without fail. I am so thankful for you, Carol!  Without you, I'm not sure I could make it.  I admire your faith, your wisdom, and your ability to see through all the muck and get to the heart of the matter.  I love you!

I called my brother a while ago and finally told him what was happening.  My brother and I are pretty close, but it's not uncommon to go months without talking to each other.  I'm not sure why.  I don't think it's intentional.  We're busy I guess?  I don't know.  That's a lame excuse.  But since I made that phone call?  He's called me every single day also.  Every day.  He did not stand in judgement.  He has just been there supporting me.  My brother has been through some pretty awful times.  I am ashamed to say that I was not always there for him like he has been there for me today.  My brother doesn't read my blog, but my pledge to him is... never again.  Never again will I let him down.  Thank  you, big brother!  I love you.

My husband's family has been so wonderful, too.  His dad, and even his sister have made it clear that they are there for us.  No matter what.  Derek's dad has told me that he loves me as if I was his own daughter.  That was so...incredible to hear.  I love you too, Tim!  You are a dad to me.

My friends...oh my.  My friends were awesome before.  But now, even more!  Khristina?  You're the best.  We talk every single day, and you've been more of a help to me than you know.  You make me laugh!  And (lucky you!) you listen even when I sit on the phone with you for hours and bawl.  Thank you, my friend!  I appreciate you so much.  Heidi - that phone call the other night came just when I needed it.  Seriously.  It helped more than you know.  And Mary, your emails are my lifeline.  I read and re-read them sometimes many times a day.  It's an invaluable resource to me to have a friend that's gone though what I'm going through.  Your advice is amazing.  And so is your friendship.  Thank you!

I know I'm sounding like a Hallmark commercial here.  I guess I just wanted to express my gratitude to all you wonderful people, and so many more that have helped me and continue to help me along the way.  To quote Jen if I may, I feel like 2008 is about standing in a pile of shit without a shovel.  (Actually, I will be optimistic and hope that I'm here in my pile just a couple of months rather than a year or more.)  But you guys give me hope that the shovel is on the way!  I'm so honored to call you all my friends and family.  I'm grateful and I'm humbled.  You have all inspired me to be a better person.  A better wife, mommy, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend. 

Thank you!

It's my post and I'll cry if I want to

Today, after church, I decided to treat myself and get my nails done.  It was lovely! 

But as I was sitting there, all of a sudden, I began sobbing. 

Not the bawl-outloud-uncontrollable ugly-cry (thankfully) but more like the silently-tears-streaming-down-the-face-can't stop-'em-if-you-tried crying.  Believe me, I TRIED stopping, but alas, I could not.  I just started thinking how miserable my life is right now, and how everything is in the TOILET.  I know things will get better, but for now?  I'm swimmin' in the sewer.  And it all let loose today at the nail place.  (Yeah - totally mortifying.)

My nail lady finally looked up and saw me.  She stared at me for a while.  Then (picture a very sweet, tiny, prim & proper, older Asian lady) she says, "Whatsamattah?  You don't like your nail?"

And then I burst out laughing.  I mean - totally cracking up.  The lady next to me burst out laughing, too.  Soon the whole place was laughing hysterically.  It was hilarious!  I felt like a total lunatic, but man.  It sure felt good to laugh.  (They may not ever let me in the place again, but that's ok.  The older I get?  The less I care what people think.  I'm not sure if that's good or bad.)

Anyway.

In other news, my new little friend Lora came to visit the farm yesterday!  Along with Heidi and Hillary.  (Oh - and Griffey the dog, too!)

It was fun showing them around.  Lora and Lexi became fast friends!  (Lora kept saying they were GFF's instead of BFF's..ha ha!)  She didn't like the pigs much, but we did get her to touch a baby chick!  I think her favorite part was the strawberry patch.  Oh - and the swings. 

I hope they all come back again soon!  (Oh but Heidi?  Ummm....you need to get used to the farm smells first.  Pigs?  Yeah. They SMELL.  Come back in August when it's hot. And the farmer across the street sprays his pastures with cow crap.  Fun times.)

9-1-1 Friends

I remember one time our pastor did a series of sermons on 9-1-1 friends, and how important it is to BE one, as well as to HAVE at least one.  You know what I'm talking about...911 Friends ....These are the people you can call at anytime for any reason they are there for you. 

I am so blessed and feel so fortunate to have several 911 Friends.  And right now?  I am calling on them, and they are there.  No, I take that back.  I didn't even have to call on them!  They were just there.

Remember when I said life was overwhelming and just plain HARD right now?  Well, since then, it's become even harder.  My youngest son has been having ongoing health problems.  He has severe stomach aches every time he eats.  As a result, he doesn't eat much, and has lost weight.  All the doctors can tell me is that he has a 'non-specific autoimmune condition' and they're not sure if he'll get better, and they're not sure of a treatment.  In the meantime?  I have a sick little boy that I don't know how to help.

My husband is also facing surgery next week.  He will be in the hospital at least one, probably two days.  This is where my 9-1-1 friends come in!  I have friends who have graciously offered to take my kids for me so that I can be with my husband.  I have friends who have offered to come by the waiting room and be with me so I'm not all by myself.  I have friends that have offered to make us meals while my husband recovers so we have one less thing to worry about.

I am humbled.  I am THANKFUL.  And, I am so blessed.  To all my 9-1-1 friends (and you know who you are!) I say THANK YOU.  I consider all of you, not only friends, but my family.  And I want to say that I am there for YOU whenever you need a 9-1-1 Friend.  I'm there for YOU.

The Boss is STILL the Boss

Photo © 2008 Columbia & Thrill Hill Productions, Inc.

Ok, let me say this:

I don't care if the man is pushing 60, Bruce Springsteen still rocks. I have seen Bruce in concert 3 times now, and man - he's still got it!! Plain and simple - he is a rock and roll legend. Last night was awesome.

Ok, let me back up. Saturday started out rough. Derek had been sick all week. Yesterday morning he woke up and he did NOT look well. He went to the local urgent care and found out he had acute bronchitis. Great. He couldn't go to the concert; he was just too sick. I thought briefly that maybe I should stay home with him, but c'mon! And miss the Bruce Springsteen concert? (Oh calm down. Derek was basically fine. He just needed to rest.)

So now I had an extra Springsteen ticket. Sadly, besides Sam who was already going with me, none of my friends were big Boss fans. (Wow. That truly IS sad. I call these people my friends?) BUT, I called my friend Khristina and she agreed to go. (I mean it wasn't too hard of a sell - the man is a rock and roll legend! Have I mentioned that yet?)

Anyway, so the three of us went - me and my friends Sam and Khristina. The first stop? The Space Needle! We had a wonderful dinner up there, and I got kind of a cool shot of the Seattle skyline:

Next, it was SHOW TIME! We walked over to the Key Arena, stood in line to get our arm bands, and down to the floor we went. Yes, we had tickets on the floor in general admission. Surprisingly, we were pretty close to the stage! The show got started an hour after the 7:30 showtime, and let me tell you, it was worth the wait.

Bruce opened with a song called "Trapped" followed by one of my favorites from his "Magic"album,
"Radio Nowhere." He sang most of the songs from "Magic" including "Livin' In the Future" and a big favorite, "Long Walk Home." And, of course he sang classics like "No Surrender,"
"Badlands" and "Born to Run." It was just....awesome! As you can see, I smuggled my camera in and got a few shots. This face shot (taken off the screen) is probably the best. But just to show you how pretty close we were to the stage, here's one more below of Bruce on stage:

So anyway, all in all it was a fantastic evening! I will say that it was not easy to stand in the 'mosh pit' for three hours straight. I'm not sure I will do that again. (I'm not getting any younger!) I kept looking over at the lucky dogs sitting comfortably in their chairs. But then, we had such a great view of the stage, it was worth it. The only song that Bruce didn't sing that I was looking forward to was "Girls in Their Summer Clothes." But lucky for you, I found a video of the song on You Tube for your listening pleasure (C'mon, you know you want to:)

I think all three of us had a great time. (Hopefully Khristina did? I think "Born to Run" was the only song she recognized. But she was a great sport for going with us!)

So today is my last day off before back to work tomorrow. Poor Derek is pretty sick, so today will be spent relaxing and healing so we're all good to go for tomorrow.

"But 'til then ... tramps like us - baby we were born to ruuuuun"

Wax on, Wax off

As long as there's been women and facial hair, there's been women trying to get rid of that facial hair. We tweeze, we bleach, we pluck, and yes, we even wax.

I have to admit though, before this weekend, it had been over a year since I'd been in to get waxed. Why? Because the memory of the sheer PAIN of it all was fresh in my mind. Even after a year. I mean GEES. Basically you're sitting there, and this cheerful perky lady takes gobs of hot molten WAX and spreads it on tender parts of your face. Then she gets little white strips of paper, presses them on the wax and then rrrrrip ... rrrrrippp....rrriiiipppp. And all the while this is going on, she's smiling and chatting away with you. Like it's perfectly normal to have little short bits of hair, along with the first layer of skin RIPPED from your upper lip or eyebrows. It's really not fun. And you're paying this woman to do this torturous activity. Oh, and being waxed down there? I don't even want to THINK about THAT. I'm pretty sure no one has lived through THAT to tell the tale.

But I must say, on Saturday, RLG and I went in to get waxed, and it was almost pleasant! Well, pleasant is a strong word. I mean it's still hot molten wax, and hair being ripped from your face, but surprisingly - it didn't hurt! I don't know if my threshold for pain is different now, or if they've improved the waxing technique since I was last in, but I was pleasantly surprised.

And the best part? When I got home, Cole examined my eyebrows and said, "Wow, Mommy! You left here with 2 giant furry caterpillars on your forehead, and now it's like....ummm...now they're just 2 little worms."

Hey. I'll take little worms over giant furry caterpillars any day of the week.

What else...Oh! Look how big our pigs are already:

They're growing so fast! And, they're so funny. They have such personalities. You know what else? Pigs are very clean. They 'do their business' in one corner of the pen, and it's far away from their shelter and their food. I never would have thought. I mean, cows just poop where ever and whenever the urge strikes. Even if it's on the head of another cow eating right next to them. It's really pretty gross. But pigs? Very clean animals. They're fun to watch.

Happy St. Pat's Day everyone! Hope you remembered to wear greeeeeen!

Ah-Ha

The other day I had a 'ding ding ding' moment. (Insert lightbulb here.) Oprah calls them 'Ah-Ha' moments. You know what I mean. And, I can't stop thinking about it.

There's a benefit for which I was seriously thinking of raising money and getting involved with. But, recently someone told me that this particular benefit event supports an organization that I don't... how should I say this.... Let's just say that this organization does things that I don't agree with. (I strongly disagree with...) As my friend RLG pointed out though, they also do many wonderful things. But I can't get past the other. (And keep in mind, it's only a rumor right now. Don't worry. I'm checking it out for myself. I'm waiting for a response from these people.)

ANYway (yeah, I know I ramble) I was talking to RLG (actually we were IM'ing each other) and something she said (typed) really made me think. She said something like, "Well it's real easy to jump on the bandwagon and protest the "sinners." But are YOU doing everything you can - to actually do what Jesus asks of you?" (Yeah, I know I butchered that. I can feel RLG cringing. She said it a lot more eloquently.)

But she made me think. It IS so easy to point the finger at what I think everyone else is doing wrong. I could say, yeah they're bad. Ooooh, look at them and how bad they are. And leave it at that.

That's easy.

BUT, what about me?

I could list all the things I think I'm doing to help the poor, the less fortunate, the disenfranchised. (That was my first reaction to RLG - to be defensive. To say, hey! Look at all the things I am doing.) But a list would be pointless. Because if I look at myself, I know that I am not doing everything I can. Not even close. (Are any of us?)

So yeah. If I find out that this benefit event supports the organization I don't agree with, I can't be a part of it. (On this, I believe RLG and I disagree.) I just will not throw money at something, and support what I'm opposed to. But I CAN and WILL do more of what I'm asked to do. What Jesus tells me to do. So thank you RLG! I appreciate the reminder. :)

(Ummm, but don't get too excited. I'm not gonna run out and become a democrat or anything. So don't go getting crazy and buy me an Obama shirt or something.)